What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Answer me this. These days guys love anal sex right, if you present them with your ass they will happily nail you into the ground. So why do some guys think it's "sissy" to let women stick a finger up their ass?

Yes sir it is.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

How do I get over a long-term relationship breakup?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

HELLO

How do you find out who your handler is as a targeted individual?

Sure no problem officer.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

What's an uncomfortable truth you've learned to accept?

After a few moments he returns.

{RING} {RING}

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Why are women attracted to ugly guys?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.